I’m not exactly sure where to begin but I have been a part of this community for almost three years, I was only 22 years old when I joined and now I’m 24 but it feels like I spent even more time here. I’m writing to share my struggles with severe depression mainly due to heavy gambling losses and what I believe is an addiction. I previously fought drug addiction and with addiction running in my family it’s a hard challenge to not fall into another addiction.

For those who don’t know me, I’m just a regular person trying to make a living in a country where job opportunities are nearly impossible to find. I’m also a university student, living with much debts taxes, and living spendings, while preparing for any chance for immigration or study visas which I already spent a lot in without any results.

From the start of my journey on this forum, I learned about crypto and took advantage of the opportunities here, from signature campaigns to community management. Working with @yahoo62278 as a project moderator was a great experience, and eventually I found a job as a community manager. However, things started going downhill as I struggled to balance my studies with online work, addiction, and financial responsibilities.

I started gambling again, hoping to earn quick money also joining Games and Rounds section, even though I knew the risks. I began losing heavily on Duelbits, losing sums equivalent to a month salary in my country almost every night, leading me to so a self-exclude from Duelbits casino for six months. Later, I discovered paid airdrops that required transaction fees or buying NFTs to boost token rewards. I took out my first big loan from @shasan which is a supportive and understanding member. Unfortunately, I lost almost all that money in NFTs that vanished without delivering any tokens.
Those were dark days where I couldn’t even cover my daily expenses as I had to send my weekly payout from the Duelbits signature campaign to shasan. I fell back into gambling, creating accounts on other casinos and risking my weekly payouts. When it came time to repay @shasan, I had to borrow money from someone else but it was only half of it.




Soon after and to compete in a Duelbits $10,000 tournament, I took out another $400 loan, hoping to at least win some money and pay back my debts even that knowing anything related to gambling is only a big risk. Well, then my Duelbits account reopened after my self-exclusion period, and without thinking I gambled to wager today and lost the $400 loan. This loss hit me hard adding to my depression and stress. I fear losing the trust I have built in the Bitcointalk community and the friendships I value so much, as well as your reactions to my situation now, besides causing a big impact on my future goals.

I’m always determined to pay back all my loans, even if it takes a year, but right now, I have nothing, and Im truly scared. My addiction is consuming me, and I would like to know if @Hhampuz could help me self-exclude my account while still tracking my wager history for the 10,000 tournament. I don’t want to leave this forum without repaying those who supported me, and I feel this is the only place where I can express my feelings, earn a good salary and improve myself.

Well, as they say, every day is a lesson, and I’m proud that I maintained my work here even under bad conditions. Bitcointalk has always been a space where everyone can be themselves, and seeing others share their experiences inspired me to open up today otherwise it will be more difficult to me. Your advice, opinions, and thoughts would mean a lot and would offer me some relief in this difficult time.

For now, I plan to save all my signature campaign payouts. I also work as a translation checker for Stake Casino, thanks to @albon, but it’s not enough to cover daily expenses. I will do everything I can to repay @shasan, as I always did and I hope I can do it soon so I can start again my study Visa application and pay my university fees.