Is this an electrum thing? is there anything else i can do?, as far as i know i only have one active address in my wallet
Using only one address does not mean, as you send more coins to the address in different time, the UTXO will build up. And if you want to spend all the coins at once, the higher the fee. You can followed what Findingnemo posted.
To have access to coin control on desktop Electrum, click on view and check ✔️ coins. You will see the coin tab which you can click on to access the coin control.
On mobile Electrum, click on your your wallet name -> addresses/coins. Use it to freeze the UTXOs of small or unnecessary amount.