Who would that be, and how much should they be paid

With the kind of money we are talking about (over 1,000 btc), you could hire any auditor like Deloitte and Touché, for maybe a single bitcoin a year. Much cheaper than the thousands Theymos has lost.
Hire them with the promise they won't look into the fraudulent history, and within a couple years this would be a modern Web3 forum attracting main stream attention. The businesses here would thrive (no extortion payments) and crypto would gain credibility. Or just go with the status quo. Ignore his inability to manage funds and allow him to continue rewarding criminals.
You know, we all freak out about AI not being trained properly, yet we are ignoring how bitcoin is not being promoted properly - especially with all the coin spent.
I respect your opinion so I'll just leave mine and not argue. Just my two Satoshis worth - but I think any complaints by original donors have long since been removed. :/