Have you thought about keeping a record of bets, monthly wins and losses, to track this?.
Is such record-keeping important to you, or do you not consider it crucial for your economy?.
I used to do that on offline betting platforms, and I hate myself for losing a lot of money; that's enough to buy me a high-end laptop, which I have been dreaming of.
So for me to stop hating myself, I stopped tracking my losses and just learned how to move on past with all my losses. Very people beat the house; you will just become disappointed seeing the money you lose. its better to just allocate money that you are comfortable losing so you can move on without hating yourself.