Yea, it is something couples should figure out themselves. The reason there are lots of misunderstandings and divorces in marriages is that couples listen to too many opinions from third parties. These third parties might be family members, friends, marriage counselors, public figures, and many more. Once either of the partners begins to think about all they've been told and starts to compare and contrast, misunderstandings will set in.

No two marriages are the same. Each couple has a common language they understand. They have their individual strengths and weaknesses. Smart couples would rather use their strengths to their advantage instead of trying to force the experiences of other people into their marriages, thereby killing the spark.

I believe in doing what works for you, even if it goes contrary to other people's views. Just do your thing and forget about opinions from other people.