How do you intend to control your wife and what is the specific thing you are supposed to do?, actually controlling your wife is not really a way of healthy marriage because controlling by definition is always by telling your wife what to do at every giving time and depriving her the opportunity to be entitled of her opinion, also since you said the person must have a light and it comes from the creator, so does it mean that without the light there will not be any healthy marriage?. Actually  communication and understand is a huge substance of longevity in marriage, so all this basic things are the key to a lasting marriage some people may not no.