There are two types of pain to deal with when gambling and losing.
1. The first one is the money you risk and lose.
2. When the money you almost win is very big.
I am a conservative gambler and careful with my funds, so I would say that the second option is more painful for me.
Although I always have a set budget for my bets and never bet more than I can afford to lose, the idea of almost winning a large amount of money and losing it is much more frustrating than losing the money I initially bet because when I bet, I knew there was a risk of losing and I was prepared for it. However, when I am close to winning a large amount of money, I start to dream about the possibilities and think about how I can use that money to improve my life or achieve my goals.
When I miss out on that opportunity, I feel a sense of regret and frustration because I know I was close to achieving something big... whereas losing the money I initially bet is easier to deal with because I knew there was a risk of losing and I was prepared for it.
Yes, I can feel the annoyance. That ghost of the win is basically blue-balling you, the universe, or the house. You begin to fantasize about upgrading as you spend the spoils in your mind. That's not like losing your stake entirely. The score is known and the possibility of a tie or a loss is accepted when placing a bet.
The "almost-win", though? That represents a higher order headfuck. The destruction of the almost-reality you lived for a second marks more than just the loss of the money. The hope felt more like a confirmed signal, momentarily true than it did just hope. Then, poof. Your predictive mind is about to take a swift and decisive hit. A clean loss lets you start over. This almost-miss leaves a residue, a poisonous "what if" that taints your judgment. You're not just sad about losing the money; you're also dealing with a fake glimpse of a different life, a psychological trick meant to make the loss feel personal and targeted. It's more about your intentional weaponizing of your own expectations than about the result of the gamble.