Lightning is a workable solution and we're using it all the time and it works well. Yes the force close and channel fee issue needs to be addressed (imho watchtowers should be able to process channel closures as well ... but that's another story)

And the protocol should be changed to have force close to a maximum of agreed fee, not the agreed fee per se.

There's a few things to be tweaked to get rid of those issues (the watchtower channel closure would be a big boon in reducing potential funds loss due to both inaccessible nodes.

I don't think it would be too difficult to co-sign a close transaction from both nodes that are weeks in the future and distribute them to watchtowers. Then watchtowers should be closing channels if they don't see sign of life for x weeks / months and should be able to also determine on-chain fees at the same time. You will lose a channel to a rogue node at most, but will never open a node with them anyway again so the loss is minimal.

It could be elective too so perhaps both parties need to agree to this.

Other than this, Lightning is spectacular. Who else gives you <1s settlement worldwide basically unlimited volume and you are STILL 100% SELF CUSTODIAL.