Spiritual gifts can be subtle. The ability to smile despite it all. The ability to love. To bear witness of the reality of Jesus Christ's life, how he continues to live. He will and can help all. Ask for him in prayers. Your answers will come. No matter what doubts and unclean spirits you may be around. The adversary is real as well, the father of all lies. Truth exists even in the darkest places. When you find light no matter how faint, follow it until you are unable to see anything but the pure light of truth.  Meeting our heavenly father and his son Jesus Christ is for those who are following truth for knowledge for all eternity. My choice is to continue throughout all eternity in light and truth. Freedom to do so is freely given to all. That is the most valuable gift we can all receive.