Well now, I just have to laugh. I checked one of my addresses and it was compromised right here on bitcointalk two months after I registered. Gotta love it.
But all that's off-topic. On the same e-mail address I took the screenshots from in my last post, I keep getting those dumb ass phishing attempts; I checked the most recent and it differs from the one I showed earlier by just a bit and the sender's address is different every time. I can definitely see how something like this might cause panic in a newbie's body, but if you know how the basics work and read the messages closely, it's fucking laughable.