It's most likely greed. I just don't know how to explain it anymore. I became a victim of it myself. I wanted to win a large sum of money, but in the end I fell into a financial hole from which I saw no way out. I owed so much money that I wanted to commit suicide. Fortunately, I remembered that I have a family that needs me and I can't leave them alone like that. It was a difficult and hard time, but I managed to cope with the problem. I can't say it was easy. I had to go through a lot.
I felt sorry for your that situation and as well have it to see that you had successfully came out from that situation.
We will find hundreds more cases like yours if we explore the internet. But not everyone can get out of here. I have already said that one of my own classmate committed suicide.
My suggestion to you is to keep yourself cool and always limit your activity, and when you see that you can't keep it limited, I would say to get out of here even if you need take an appointment with a psychologist.