If I could just find a way to harness all the excess energy being expended by all the petty arguing going on in this thread, I could probably solve all the remaining puzzles in about an hour flat

Here, let me help sort it all out for you: Some of you like prefixes. Some of you don't. The end FFS.

Are we really all out of ideas? How about this: Any thoughts on the old wallets that just woke up today (or yesterday)? Lots of BTC suddenly moving out of old wallets... Reminds me of some puzzles we're all trying to solve... And I'll take any crazy, long-shot speculation/discussion about how those wallets may have been hacked* over more childish "ur dumb / no u / do u even math bro?" arguing any day...

* As opposed to simply accessed by their original owners, or their beneficiaries, which of course is always the more likely, if boring, possibility. And, of course, assuming any actually plausible/realistic possibilities exist, which might help inform us about how we could move forward in our attacks against 71+