Of course that was a bitter moment that I have ever felt, besides blaming the system I also experienced severe depression, if I remember it now, I am very ashamed, now I have limited my gambling and now the situation has improved, I am still actively playing even though only occasionally
You learned from your own lesson. Sometimes that's what it takes for a gambler to learn. They need to experience the bad things that will happen so that they will change.
Now, it's up to you what you will do next. You said you are ashamed of what happened, but it doesn't really need to be like that. We just have to learn from it. Now that you are in control, you will just have to keep it up. It's not like we are not going to change, so maybe now it's a different you, and I hope it's all for the good.