~SNIP~
I was addicted to gambling for a long time which caused me a lot of cost. And I have not been able to recover that damage till now. And during that time I also took some loans which I have not been able to repay till now besides losing my savings of about $10k. These were very bad moments for me. Sometimes I would go there for fun and lose money, sometimes I would get greedy and sometimes I would get emotional and continue gambling. All in all I was completely psychologically sick. But when I lost my entire savings then slowly I started to regret and from that I was able to slowly come out of my deep addiction to gambling. When I remember those previous incidents, I still feel very guilty.
This is a very sad incident where it is very difficult to forgive yourself. But since you have been able to come out of that deep addiction, forget your past and start a new life and try to control yourself from now on. If you go to gamble again, then definitely remember your previous history and never use more money than you can afford. And I will give you an honest advice that is that you take a break from gambling for some more days so that your previous addiction cannot affect you in any way. And when you become completely normal, you should enjoy gambling if you want. But of course it should be to the extent that you can control yourself from there.
Taking a break to fight addiction as a matter of gambling out of self control is not really the best move because it is not easy to take the break and even when the victim is encaged, the high urge of gambling will always be there and banging unconsciously in their head like gambling has become part of the routine of their lives there by if deprived that chances to gamble could be traumatic and a heavy psychological blow.
Literally they don't fight addiction with forces but technically on gradual processes While victims conciously remarks that they are really into trouble by realizing resources they have lost at the course of gambling for fun and chasing profits are unrecoverable. So, he have to move on and forget about the past.
It is a matter of gathering courage by limiting your interests and not implying your emotions while gambling.
Then when you finally realized what gambling as a game of risk is all about, then you will understand that it is not worth leveraging all that unaffordable values or taking that high risk of borrowing and using your savings to gamble.