I subsequently tried Lubuntu 22, 20, and finally 18. 20 almost worked, but didn't have python-qt4, and attempting to use firefox to look up instructions on forcing python-qt4 onto it froze the entire system for whatever reason.

18 did NOT work out of the box (at least not with "minimal" install), had to connect to internet to install a whole load of dependencies for armory. It claimed that it installed. But when you run it, nothing happens.

When I try running it from terminal, (/usr/bin/armory), it spits out "Illegal instruction (core dumped)". Sudo or no sudo.