Be it 1 bill or 763k of $, the effect would remain the same for the people that follow headlines rather than technicals or BTC overall, don't you think?
~2 days later and the market has not shown any kind of reaction to this news considering price movement is the same as before. This means regardless of its size, this article is as meaningless as the exaggerated title OP chose

Are you surprised about that? Od course you won't be surprised as we all know that the US don't buy bitcoins, for all the bitcoins in their custody has been those they seized as a result of some relations with alleged criminal connections to the coins. If this news were coming from countries like El Salvador or Pakistan we would have seen price taken some uptrend move because they are countries that actually buys and stack BTC.
Indeed the US does not buy Bitcoin because even the much talk about
Bitcoin strategic reserve by the orange man been big talks all along, no real action. By now I was thinking that the US would have acquired a lot of Bitcoin given those exaggerated talks. From what I have seen so far, the US have no plans of directly purchasing Bitcoin as a government.
That
orange man as you call him is the most powerful human on planet Earth!

He has directed the Director of US Treasury, Scott Bessent, take care of the US Bitcoin Strategic Reserve. It will be done in due time. It was never expected to already happen!