This is so true, most of the times I needed money desperately and decided to gamble to get money, instead of winning, I even lose the money I have. I have had this experience many times before realizing that gambling does not work when you are desperate for winning. It is always when things are going fine I win, maybe it is this time I have a relaxed mind to main sound judgement that is not emotion driven.
It is better not to bet that way, it always has to be very controlled so that we can have good mental health, the fact of betting to recover or generate more money is a very big risk, I do not do it anymore, before I fell into that error and I ended up like you, with bigger losses and that made me feel very bad afterwards, it is better to bet little money or before playing only put in the money that we can lose and not deposit more.