Reality is in this current time and for foreseeable future if you store a meaningful amount of wealth in bitcoin it’s better off with multiple custodians that self custody.
People buying bitcoin ETF aren't looking to use it as money and neither are most Bitcoiners. Bitcoin smiles upon those who help themselves. Decentralization is faster in practice... if you're really trying to move large amounts of money, then you can remove the process of vetting trusted third parties with Bitcoin, thereby saving loads of time, days, weeks, even. Wild isn't it? How they will adopt crazy ideas about Bitcoin that are blatantly not how it functions because they wish it functioned like that to make the cool stuff they want to do easier. I suspect a lot of this comes from traditional development environment norms where you can dictate the software users are using. One aspect to the trilemma is that we can build the new financial system on top of Bitcoin. On chain does not necessarily need to scale to achieve that. The LN shows us that we can achieve speed and security at the cost of some centralization and that this is an acceptable trade-off. The base layer needs to be decentralized and secure.