3) What could in principle be an actual problem of gox-ian proportions if they would require proof that users can't reasonably provide. So far, after having read mentions of the KYC procedure around 40 times (my ballpark guess) in the past months, I have /today/ heard the first time of unnecessary proof being required (in the reddit thread). That's 1 out of 40 cases (from my own perspective) and it doesn't exactly make me jump to the conclusion that Bitstamp asks for this regularly now.
Gox accomplished exactly what you're saying in this point also by repeatedly rejecting totally valid documents for verification until harassing customer service back and forth, then later on switching their verification procedure to involve actually mailing physical documents to their Tokyo offices.