There is nothing listed on the miner status page - just "This section contains no values yet." It's been sitting empty for 3 weeks.

The lights on the actual device are flashing slowly, and the Realtime Load on the Realtime Graphs - Load page shows the average load at .04. I'm pretty sure based on that it's completely idle.

There is traffic on eth1.

https://www.evernote.com/shard/s2/sh/49978fdc-8528-49cd-8998-79655f210dcf/dd9f1111c61badf0f473d8f42cb16f28/deep/0/Ant-Miner.png

The WAN interface is set up just as the manual and the youtube video describes. There is no configuration on the LAN. You can see packets on the WAN interface in both directions.
https://www.evernote.com/shard/s2/sh/eaf5db00-618f-44f8-9626-c087cbcf81c5/86e5cbd4753ca7034e5b8c9bd246607a/deep/0/Ant-Miner.png

I can ping and traceroute from the box to both stratum.btcguild.com and api.bitcoin.cz

I don't get it.