"Shitting on our Donuts" <-- lol

Why not a smart faucet? That only gives out very small amounts over a long time? etc, we could make it quite sophisticated.
I actually like the faucet idea.
Create a smart faucet that only gives out 10-100 coins per person a day. This will draw out the giveaway and significantly increase the amount of bag holders. Limit the total amount given out in a single day as well as a safety protocal in case someone tries to drain the faucet.