How about something like this:



I found the lack of contrast in the original a little glaring, I felt a stark black/white was serious enough. It is just a very rough draft, if you would like it tightened up I'll be happy to have a play around with it.

If anyone has any suggestions or comments I would be happy to hear them. Please bear in mind it is a rough draft to gauge whether t is worth spending a couple of hours on.

-Psilent