lol what can i say you got me  

come to my door pigs i dare you hahahah

i have dealt with cops lots........... and i have no record either
stupid pigs are out of their league.. i eat them for breakfast LOL

i once got arrested for grand theft auto and the dumb pigs put me in cells
and i sat there for a few minutes then pulled out a join and lit up a fucking joint had a few puffs and stashed it away again.
then soon after that 3 cops came in, i shit you not snapping rubber gloves saying they smelled pot and they were gonna strip search me
and i swear to god i had a huge grin and smiled at them and said "no problem" and then they got me in a room
and i said "warning i ain't got no underwear on" and they said "fine" so i hit the button and my pants hit the floor..
i gave them a nice perch pose with a grin.. i was "presenting" for them
Then they looked at me and said HEY ! ..you said you had NO tattoos when we booked you.
And i said oh whooops i forgot LOL
They said get dressed and put me back in my cell. (trying to hold me as long as possible to scare me but i napped and asked when was lunch LOL)

And when they had corroborated my fake name i used (taken from an NBA basketball player) with an associate of mine via telephone they let me go like 20 hours later
and i walked out the door and lit up the rest of my joint with my mini bic lighter stored in my mini jeans pocket and walked home  
So since i gave them a fake name and wore gloves they never caught me for the sports car i flipped in a ditch speeding around town. ROFL'z

ProTip:
Always have your own tunes for the car stereo.. a flat head screw driver (the key) and gloves

Funny part was i was just trying to get a gram of weed from my dealer buddy across town
and it was his phone number i gave the cops to check and confirm the fake name i gave them.
So when they phoned my dealer buddy he had no idea what it was all about but he went along with it and they released me.

Cops ? motherfucking spare me.. i eat those cunts for breakfast LOL
I ain't afraid of no stupid fucking pigs ahahha ..bring it !  

In another town the cops nick named me "Mr. Miami Vice" hahah
i got arrested with a buddy over a suspected robbery in a pool hall and pigs asked my name and i said "Don Johnson" LOL
Then any time i seen the cops later they said "oh well look who we have here".. Mr Miami Vice AHhahahahha

I got millions of stories
And i win in ALL of them