Unfortunately this is borderline deluded rant
I'm telling my Mum on you

Sorry, man. You've started beautifully, but then just finished of the rocker (or of the rails).
Its like all those "open source" people who say that Raspberry Pi is all "open" and neglect to discuss that the Alphamosaic VideoCore is a primary CPU on the chip and the ARM is just an ASP (Attached Support Processor).
First couple of "groundings in reality" may hurt, but I assure you that you will learn to watch your step and understand the technology and the common traps.