Just my fucking luck...

My dedicated miner runs for 10 days straight without issue, and on the day that p2pool finds a billion blocks, I come back to a rig that won't give video. Restart and everything is fine and dandy again. WTF is that?!?! It's like every 10-12 days this shit happens and on the day p2pool has good luck, my share count is 1/6 what it typically is.

You're not alone, I made the decision to use my computer to spend the day playing Borderlands and therefore
not mining (so only .15BTC today)
The reason why pools exist in the first place - to reduce variance.
P2Pool just happens to reduce it way less than the other pools.
That is just weak. Name me a pool where he would have been compensated for NOT mining?
He wasn't mining, it isn't like he had a 10 minute reboot window and lost 100% of the block value for 3 blocks. He still got credit on each block for the portion of time he was mining in the last 24 hours. The n used by p2pool is ~4. Most pools PPLNS pools use an n of ~1. There is no pool under a similar scenario where he would have been compensated more.