You don't lose until you sell.
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In that case, you'll be interested in my 100% guaranteed Toilet Fund. Here's how it works:
1. Convert the money to be invested into cash.
2. Deposit it into the toilet.
3. Flush.
4. ? ? ?
5. Profit.
You will not lose a penny, as long as you remember not to sell.
Welcome to my ignore list.
Dang, interwebs d00d I never met before, tell me it ain't so!!!1!1!
