But it's not your money.
Of course it's not my money. It's
our money,
if and only if we can settle on how to distribute it. I think I just said that. Of course, it's not your money either. You're mistakenly considering that the money is already yours but if it were then you wouldn't need me to approve of the distribution. You could keep it no matter what. That's not the case. Therefore, it's not charity on your part anymore than it's charity on my part.
Read the first post again.
She will give us 5,000$ if we can agree on how to split it
Emphasis mine. Until we agree on how to split it up, the money still belongs to her. You're wrong. Just admit it so we can get on with our lives.
Your being plural. Our = your for the sake of discussion. It's not anyone's money until it gets agreed upon.
I think that's why you are looking at this incorrectly. If he gets to decide how much you get, clearly it's not even a share of your money. You cannot possess something you don't possess.