The fear is that a cartel of big, centralized, have-huge-data-pipes miners would drive out smaller miners by forcing up the block size high enough so the smaller miners have to drop out.
Price discovery of bandwidth is the solution.
Users want their transaction to be relayed to miners.
Miners want the transaction to reach them so they can earn the fees associated with those transactions.
Miners want other miners to receive their blocks to have their reward recognized by the network.
Users want to receive the block the miners produces to they can know the state of the network.
Relay nodes provide a service which everybody wants. Build a competitive open marketplace for relay nodes to offer connectivity to users on both sides of the network and then price discovery can occur. The relay nodes will get compensated for the resources which they are providing and the price signal will automatically make sure we have the right amount of relay node.
Then we never need to have these unresolvable debates again. When block sizes and tx rates increase, there will automatically be a mechanism in place to make sure the relay nodes receive additional income which they can use to defray their rising expenses.