A lot of student today have too many obligations and activities in their lives for them to be able to concentrate on lengthy homework assignments on a day-to-day basis. I, on the other hand, now have far too much free time and will gladly complete any of your assignments for you.
Hmm yes, I'm sure you would be great at writing grammatically correct essays.
(That's sarcasm, because your post makes me assume you wouldn't know what that is either)