Forget about touching the Masternode's 1000DRK. Not going to happen, ever. Not going to happen to mine, ever, that's for damn sure.
More people just need to click the big Anonymise button, that's all.
Then it seems like the idea of Darksend day is about the only real thing we could do as a community to bolster pairings, however, that doesn't solve lack of pairs on the remainder of the days.
Dark Friday (or whatever) would be a good start - and it also might get more people into the habit generally.

Or a couple of scripted wallets managed by The Foundation, constantly anonymising.
If dark markets start accepting DRK then problem solved, people will have more reason to use DS. I'm a bit disappointed that Anonymisation isn't on by default, I think that would have mostly solved the problem too.