To me, when someone says "neocon/neoliberal", I imagine ruthless robber baron capitalist who truly believes that market is end-all solution to everything, ethics be damned. Surprisingly, significant amount of those "white straight male reddit fedora libertarians who love to shoot guns" appear to not discard basic human decency in their dogma.
Maybe real people aren't like caricatures.
This cognitive dissonance is my main problem with the ideology,
I don't think I have any cognitive dissonance. If I were to get what I want and what I think should be in the world by forcing other people to cooperate with my plans, that would cause cognitive dissonance for me.
So, I believe in helping the poor, so I do it. I don't employ schemes to make other people do it. I don't believe in any current wars, so I expect people who do believe in them to pay for them themselves.