Everybody here knows I'm dead against altcoins and have been very vocal about it to the point I irritated smoothie. But at least altcoins don't ask for a source code change in a sign of decency.

but sidechains are there to save us from altcoins while preserving any useful features they might come up with.
why can't you understand this

1:1 sidechains + altcoins features = new & improved Bitcoin ledger = everybody win!
It is very tragic that such a Bitcoin supporter as yourself cannot see the light

I have only panicked twice since owning bitcoin. First time when the coin validation (white/blacklists) threatened to destroy fungibility. The second time was when sidechains were announced. My fear was the same as cyphers that floating peg sidechains could threaten value and stability of bitcoin.
I have come round to brg's point of view that fixed peg side chains offer new possibilities for bitcoin going forward.