To summarize my upthread posts, I can't imagine a God who punishes to eternity in horrific (gnashing of teeth), burning (fire and brimstone) pain, for sins that the God admits we are born with and can't entirely avoid. Wouldn't a God that loves us want to rehabilitate us instead? I could understand banishing us temporarily in loneliness or something like that, but this eternal disembowelment crap is very Nazi-like. Sounds like the Bible was written by callously (no heart, no forgiveness) deviant minds.

Also God offers us this incredible fear, while for the carrot he only offers us a nebulous warm fuzzy navel of perfection that sounds very boring compared to the diverse life of risks and challenges we have in this imperfect Universe, and doesn't even define precisely (e.g. in the discussion of the church of Philadelphia) what we have to do to be assured of passing through the narrow gate and avoiding the horrific eternal outcome.

The Bible has turned the concept of a soul and an eternal existence into a psychological weapon couched in a nebulous warm fuzzy for those who aren't thinking clearly, because eternity is a long time. The eternal, non-forgiving punishment is for everyone else so let's sweep that aspect under the rug, except when we need to batter non-believers with it.

To top it off, it is entropically impossible for there to be a feedback loop between perfection and this life of incredible diversity, otherwise our diverse entropy here in this Universe can not exist.

The breaking point for me was recently someone I've known since 2007 telling me that Tribulations will begin Sept 23, 2015 and massive death and suffering globally by 2019, which corresponds to Armstrong's (non-religious) computer model of massive global implosion and global pandemic by 2019. I just can't fathom a God that will save 144,000 (or even 144 million) and send the rest of the humanity into eternal excruciating pain with open sores on their body. It sounds too similar to CNN's Ted Turner's Georgia Guidestones' inscription proclaiming to reduce the population to 500 million totalitarian eugenics. I was forced by that challenge to think clearly and make a decision. No more standing with one leg on each side of the fence.

The Bible's psychological profile will appeal to people who do not want to think clearly. Typically they have some psychological handicap which causes them to need this delusion. In my case, I think I was drawn to it because of love of and loyalty to those who subscribed to Christianity, the failure of my marriage, death of my relationship with my father, murder of my only full blooded sibling sister, the loss of vision in my right eye, and then being infected with incurable high strain HPV which lead to the decline in my health. I guess I wanted to believe there was still something to feel positive about in spite of all the failures in my life. But falling into that delusion actually made my behavior worse. Rather than dealing with my depression, I covered it up with a nebulous mayonnaise. It is very important to be proactive about depression and attack it by accomplishing happy and positive actions using clear thinking so we don't just haphazardly wander into self destruction.

Sister and I in 1971 and 1969:
http://www.coolpage.com/commentary/economic/shelby/Shannon_Shelby_Nov_1971.jpghttp://www.coolpage.com/commentary/economic/shelby/Shannon_newborn_Shelby_in_bed_Aug_1969.jpg

(note the lack of smile in 1971 may be because my Dad had left my mom and the USA in 1970 when I was 5 years old)

The underlying psychological need that the Bible fulfills in the need for control. This is why religious groupthink is so dangerous. The believers have turned their minds over and are ready to be manipulated by the right cause, such as the lynchings in the Inquisition. I notice that Bible believers are typically very strongly invested in an order to things and very much against serendipity. Whereas, my grandfather who was the most unselfish man I ever met (the dude would take off his pants in the mall and give them to you if you asked him to), and probably the main reason I tried to accept the Bible because of my admiration of what a better man he was than I am (I love that man, he was my best friend ever), said that Jesus was the rock he stands on when all other things are sinking sand. The concept is so beautiful. After his death, when I got back to the Philippines, I put that "Jesus is my rock" pamphlet from his funeral up on the wall above my computer monitor. Note I did not subscribe to Christianity during his life, and we often discussed my theory that morality was orthogonal to the question of our existence. But a few hours before he died, I thanked him so much for the wonderful times and he asked me to make good my relationship with my father and he said I could never go wrong with Jesus. For the man you love to tell you that on his death bed, how can it not leave an indelible mark.

I think he never thought about the aspects of the Bible I mentioned above. He was pure love. His parents used to give groceries to poor families. He father was a Baptist minister.

There is a lot of truth to the Bible, such as every time I see a poor person begging I am reminded of the verse of the rich man who couldn't enter the narrow gate because he always ignored the beggar. I guess all of us hate that human nature can be so narrow minded and selfish, so we idealistically fall into the trap of an order that promises to punish such. But again no rehabilitation, makes it clear the Bible is totalitarian which is a deviant psychology.

What made it so difficult to let go of Christianity because I love my grandfather so much.

But maybe that is just luck. We get lucky to know people like that.

Grandad at sister's college graduation:
http://www.coolpage.com/commentary/economic/shelby/Shannon_graduation_and_Granddad.jpg