The cool thing is though, that I don't have a monopoly on this. Decentralization doesn't necessarily mean "never trust anybody". You trust your grocery store not to sell you expired/spoiled/poisonous food; if they did, you would have somewhere else to shop. Surely, you wouldn't say your local grocery store has cornered the market on food, otherwise I would expect that you only eat things you grow yourself.
I wasn't saying any of that. I was saying you've managed to find a perfect way to swap the backing of bitcoin value from a much more trustworthy source (general demand and scarcity) to probably the most untrustworthy source generally (one random internet person). The only reasonable value I can place on your physical product and the underlying bitcoins (the same for anyone who uses similar methods) is based on this statement:
You have to trust the right key is in the coin. I have good control over this with multiple checks and balances.
Let me put this another way for all of your customers: The value of your physical coins is the sum of the following: 1) underlying value of the bitcoin code, 2) the novelty/look/use of your product, and 3) the raw materials value.
1): Dependent on you being honest.
2): Dependent on nobody redeeming the code, lest they destroy it's novelty, look, or physical trade use.
3): The only lasting value of your product.
So you've invented a wonderful product that incentivizes
not verifying if you're being honest while depending on your honesty, all the while padding your bank account.
This, right here, folks, is why bitcoins will fail. Because everyone with a small stack throws their money at some of the worst ideas on the planet, and most people with an ounce of sense wouldn't even bother.