I made a lot of money. Enjoying great life now. Because I wasn't a fool.
I have seen the promised land where wine flows like beer, a harem of beautiful virgins for every nerd and money trees grow on endless beaches! I too was a deluded shit sack. I probably still am; "So how did a shaved weasel like you get to the land of plenty," you ask? I gave up my burdens and saw the light. "Now, how do you I get there too," you say? The only path across this river is in my unsinkable paper ship. The largest ever made, mind you. However, to cross the river you will need to lighten your weight and drop those heavy bags you're carrying. Don't worry, nobody will take them as I'll stay behind and watch them for you.