as in the 'neighbor kid moans the lawn' scenario
Your neighborhood sounds pretty fun.

Is it possible that 'testing' a bitcoin bill for double-spend could be done much faster than confirmation?
After all, you just want to know if the coin has been previously spent.
SO the cashier takes the bill with the 2D barcode, scans it, and the register confirms that the coin hasn't been previously spent (ie, the balance is real). The confirmations can come later if the merchant wants to extend some trust. Seems this wouldn't take any longer than a Visa authorization.
In a nutshell, my goal is to pay for something
1) Anonymously (thank you sir, you have no idea who I am.)
2) Spontaneously (I wasn't planning to spend bills at lunch, but here I am)
3) Off-line (I didn't bring my gadgets)
4) Minimal trust required (Give me physical goods, and you have reasonable confidence my bill is good.)
A completely separate discussion would be valid for discussing a quick way to share BTC addresses, IRL. Cut & Paste works fine. "Read your number to me" would not. A standard 2D sticker on the back of a register would be the ticket here. "BTC Accepted @" with a phone client that scans and pays.