No one to blame other than yourself.You should have study what you are engaging yourself with. Probably you're one of those people who believes that there is an easy money in this industry. In 'futures' if you won't be able to manage the risks, margins,  and limitations, expect for huge profit loss. I also doubt that you are aware of Technical analysis 'coz if you really are, you won't be in this situation. Trading is never an easy thing to do. Even me who's been years in this industry, doesn't know every 'pattern' on a certain timeframe.It is on you whether to stop already or to continue once you are again ready to conquer this industry. Even if you've made a mistake, I hope you'd be good on this holiday season.