1) I will be one to admit i started gambling this past year, first time in my life gambling and I started using my BTC. Seemed easy to spend something not coming from my wallet.
I lost money by getting 'scammed' by a game advertised on this site and then I played the dice game. I found Dice to be very addictive. I was up 4 BTC when I started to lose. I got out while up to 2 BTC but felt the urge to keep playing. Day and night it called me, beyond anything redtube has done. In the end I opted not to gamble and saved some cash. BUT, i understand the draw to gamble. I easily addicted / immersed into things I enjoy.
2) Its nice you're paying people back. But if everyone is going to dog you and not give you a chance to make it right. Keep the money or dont repay the money you took. People are tools and are the first to throw you under the bus until they need help after their own screw ups. Sooner or later you will realize that your actions to make right doesnt erase the wrong and your rep will likely be ruined anyways. Log off, get a new email, IP, account and start over. Change all your account details on all sites and never reference your old posts. Just become a ghost. You will have less stress and realize the outcome would have been the same either way in regards to your rep.
You made a mistake. From what I read you didn't go out to scam people.
3) Killing yourself over 12k (25 btc) is absolutely retarded. Your life is worth more than 25BTC I am sure.
Can you dev, design etc? Offer services for BTC, repay people or just follow option 2.