Is this too simple? What am I missing here?
Why cant you just send your bitcoins to your wallet on your computer. Backup the wallet.dat to a usb stick. Close the bitcoin wallet. Delete the wallet.dat from your computer. Restart bitcoin wallet so it creates a new fresh wallet with no bitcoins. Unplug USB containing your bitcoins.
Doesn't this make your bitcoins completely inaccessible to everyone except the person holding the usb drive?
No, it isn't "too simple". It's just simple enough. You aren't missing much. And, yes, generally, that would make your bitcoins completely inaccessible to everyone except the person holding the USB drive.
As long as you don't lose the USB stick, nobody else gets access to the USB stick, and the USB stick still works when you want to recover the bitcoins, your plan will work fine. To increase your faith in the plan, perhaps try it once with a small amount of bitcoin.
Concerns to be aware of:
If your computer is already hacked, has a key logger, or any other bitcoin aware malware, then it is possible that the information from the wallet.dat will be stolen before it ever gets to the USB stick. Then in the future the thief can steal any bitcoins you send to those wallet addresses even though the USB stick isn't plugged in.
If the delete leaves the wallet.dat recoverable somewhere on the hard drive, then in the future someone could still access your bitcoins if they find the contents.
If your computer is compromised when you try to restore the wallet.dat from the USB stick, a thief could steal the bitcoins before you get your wallet running.
This newbie forum concept is ridiculous also. So annoying. What are chances of getting a real reply here?
100%
This newbie forum concept is ridiculous also. So annoying. What are chances of getting a real reply here?
Zero.
That's just silly. There are several SMEs that review and reply to the posts in the Newbie Forum every day.