Most of this is not true. If a remote Bitcoin node can correlate your UTXOs even when you use coin control, the same can be done by an ETH node for accounts. No privacy advantage there.
Your post comes across as if you are uncertain. I don't know if you intended that. For example when you say "If.." as if you don't know if that is how it works and then making some wild guesses like "if that's how it works in bitcoin then it must be the same in ethereum".
VPNs are pretty reliable, and they are not easy to trace. All someone can say is that the originator of some transactions is using a specific VPN provider. You can switch servers between transactions if you want to.
VPNs are easy to trace. Anyone can just enter a simple command into their terminal to find out which VPN provider the IP belongs to. Switching servers don't change the VPN provider unless you switch to a server belonging to a different VPN provider. This was also just meant to be a simple example.
The same penalties that you have when you use Bitcoin without a node. Probably worse though, because most ETH wallet providers are centralized companies collecting data. With Bitcoin there are plenty of nodes to choose to when connecting with your wallet such as Electrum. You can actively switch between them.
Not sure what you mean but with bitcoin you definitely need your own node.
It is, but ethereum does not care about privacy and decentralization.
You should explain why otherwise I have to use my imagination and guess what you are talking about.
It is not an advantage, most of those mixers are worse by design than centralized Bitcoin mixers.
Again you don't make any real argument here. You are just giving an opinion and I have to use my fantasy what you are talking about.
They don't have the liquidity or volume of transactions to be better.
They have more than enough volume. Another benefit is you can mix stable coins which can be great during bear season or a longer lasting choppy market.
More volume isn't necessarily a good thing. If the other users who are mixing btc are not using tor then they don't actually count. You need other tor users to blend in with. And if they get deanonymized in any other way then that also doesn't count. Bitcoin is very difficult to have privacy in so most people are going to be denonymized. And when wallets like wasabi and other wallet have built in features for coinjoin then you will get a lot of users who know nothing about privacy, mixing their btc and they can make it seem like you have lots of transactions to blend in with but they actually don't help you.
Bitcoin does it better, considering that you are not likely able to run an ETH node or use ETH over TOR.
You are wrong because you assumed I was right when I said you need lots of ETH to run a node. To run a validator you need lots of ETH but to run a node it's very similar to running a bitcoin node. So anyone can easily run an ethereum node for the privacy and security beneifits.
But it seems like you can't have an eth node on TOR though so that's a big and valid downside. But if you really believe that VPNs are great for privacy then that's not a problem. It's only a problem if you want tor.