Isn't this just the oft-repeated intrinsic value myth, rephrased in a confusing way?

Bitcoin (and equivalently, gold) will fail when human civilization fails. There are enough incentives in place to prevent it from happening earlier. Mind you, this might be sooner rather than later.

If you can't find a way to be satisfied in a life devoid of work, you're gonna have a real bad time once retirement age rolls around.

I would spend the rest of my days plugged into an Oculus boob-touching simulator.

415, 407, 398

You thought Heartbleed was bad? Well lock up your thumbdrives, because coming this summer, it's Bitbleed! And Professor Bitcorn knew this whole time!

It's good enough. Language is fuzzy anyway.

You mean Mike Hearn?

The bulls already ran, straight off a cliff. Nothing left to do now but sit around, and jerk each other off trying to predict a future that will never materialize.

Nice thought. But excluding the developers and crypto types, the people messing around with bitcoin in the early days are what you might call "the dregs of society". Drug addicts, gamblers, flim flam artists and smooth talking con men. White collar criminals, some just regular criminals. Latchkey derelict minecraft kids with no dads, and slutty moms.

And worst of all, the libertarians.

These are the people that we have entrusted with the future of our society. Every time you buy a bitcoin, you're driving another nail into the coffin of the human race. But fuck it, we're doomed anyway.

Sorry guys, the BitCoin is finally done.  it's been a great ride, but had to close out someday.  Show's over, run along home now. 

I don't see it going above $1000 anytime soon (i.e. this year). If it does it'll quickly get bitchslapped down by people like me who are still trying to offload stupidly expensive coins bought during, um, more optimistic times.

I THINK YOU'RE RIGHT

As a CIA field asset I doubt he has very much choice in the matter. 

If anyone is keeping that much money in bitcoin, most likely they are either already quite wealthy in fiat, or the money is the result of illicit activities. Otherwise the risk of holding is just too high for any rational person to tolerate.