You don't specify how quick 'quick' is, or your appetite for risk. These are the 2 things you need to know when investing.

Do some research on HYIPs if you want it today and are willing to risk the lot. Or try peer-to-peer lending, pooled investments, and margin-funding if you want to learn some investing basics and slowly work your way up to solid returns for the rest of your life.

But always remember the basic rule of investing - if it sounds too good to be true, it is!

Continual negative mainstream media from outlets owned by large financial institutions and companies with a vested interest in keeping things the way they are.

Yep, worst mistake was waiting too long and then thinking I could make money from faucets and PTC sites. Way too much time wasted on them.

But, no regrets, it's never too late. I now live and breath it.

As everyone already has said, there is no wallet provider that pays interest on your stored bitcoin.

For someone to pay interest, the bitcoin needs to be invested somewhere (lending or trading) and hopefully returning higher interest than what they pay out. This is how normal bank savings accounts work. The beauty of bitcoin is that you can do this yourself and there are heaps of options, but you need to understand the risk involved. So do your own research.

Following are a few options:

Magnr provide a savings account which pays 2.35% (low risk)

BTCPop have a 5% savings account which is low risk and then a range of pooled investments which can pay up to 50% but are higher risk as the funds are used for peer-to-peer lending.

Bitfinex have a margin-funding system where you can lend your bitcoin for others to trade. Returns vary and it sounds crazy but is fairly well run.

Then there are the ponzis/HYIPs - high interest but extreme risk - you have been warned.

The basic rule is: the higher the interest paid, the higher the risk.

Check out www.stacksofcoin.com/invest-bitcoin for more info.

Too funny for words.

You actually have some reasonable answers here from members of the bitcoin community that you simply ignore for fear of oversimplifying your own nonsense argument about self-driving cars and people writing checks.

Is your issue with bitcoin, or is there no support line for your phone company?