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You want to get creative? How about a non electronic sub dermal implant with a sealed capsule that has the encrypted priv key inside? All you would have to do is scratch that spot to be remembered that you're walking around with all that bitcoin.
You can always keep an eye on it and it cannot be stolen while you're not looking.
You sir are more dedicated them me if you are willing to do this. I will keep safety deposit box

If you can handle injecting it in your body, and cutting out each time you want it... just would take it to another level.
Yeah no, thats crazy. This could work with a electronic implant that is your hardware wallet key. Otherwise hell no.
I was thinking about someone that has like hundreds or thousands of Bitcoin that wish to keep his Bitcoin safe in cold storage but still in reach for many years, as a bet that Bitcoin's market cap will eventually beat other payment processors.
You keep those until its time to retire, then take it out and cash out, live the good live.