It's disheartening to want to be something you can never be and to have to do things that are against your ideals.
I've got this addiction to life and it makes me do terrible things.
I'm trying to figure out what your ideals are because what you originally said reads like "I want other people to give me stuff for free but unfortunately they won't unless I trade them something of equal value".
I'm not sure how you read that into anything I typed.
And, without being dismissive, I think that this thread isn't really the place to discuss the perfect world according to FLHippy. If you are truly interested in reading about a fantasy society I'll post it in off-topic.