There are many times where I don't think I can do it, because I seem to be battling some kind of problem with food digestion and concomitant autoimmunity, perhaps bile duct blockage but the symptoms from what I read point more towards cancer
Obvious question - why aren't you seeing a specialist? Self diagnoses will lead nowhere good.
I think I explained that in my post:
But damn it, I don't see other good options. I guess I could leave the Philippines and return to USA try to get socialized medical care and then that might restore me to the level of function where I could hold a daily software engineer job again. Psychologically I seem incapable of making that move. I don't even have the energy to devote to thinking out that option and its impacts.
I'm tempted to go for a checkup here (there are MRI machines in Davao), but I don't even trust the doctors here in terms of diagnosis and certainly I would not trust them for any invasive procedure. Also I am trying to conserve funds and I have no medical insurance.
In short, I don't expect a quick solution. And maybe the prognosis will make me totally depressed. And I don't have the resources to deal with the problem in a way that I feel is safe.
The filipino surgeons butchered my eye. I could still see after being attacked in 1999, but they gave me an intern to do the first surgery on my eye at St. Luke Hospital in Manila.
Also when I was in my doctor's office after the hospitalization for the acute peptic ulcer, a younger (30s) American man was also awaiting checkup and he was grimacing with pain. My doctor had performed a "J-pop" (something about removing part of the colon and sewing together or something like that) on him some years before and had screwed him so bad that now the young guy was on permanent morphine.
The attitude of doctors here is callous, unprofessional. For example, in Sept I got an eye checkup at an ophthalmologist and he said poked at my right blinded eye and said something like "you might as well just remove that" or something derogatory to that effect. Also he poked at it very hard which didn't feel like it was good for the eye. I told him that the pressure in that eye oscillates depending on my overall health (and remember I was in horrible condition in August/September).
I don't trust the system here. And my mother has reminded me that I am unlikely to get along well with the doctors in the USA because I always want to ask questions and I don't like being dictated procedures until I fully understand them and get perhaps 2nd and 3rd opinions. But none of that I can afford.
And I certainly can't afford the lengthy down time.
My life options are very stressful. My rope is short. Difficult to explain to others who are healthy and in other circumstances. Sounds like an excuse until you walk in the other person's shoes. It is a self-inflicted circumstance, so I don't fault anyone but myself.
Let's return to the technical discussion.