Of course I didn't read all of your post, nor read any of it with a fine tooth comb. I told you I don't have enough energy. I responded to few small portions that I read. I may become energized for some moments I am not (as I am now) by being provoked, but the vast majority of the time I am not in good condition right now. I did have some burst of mild energy a few days ago and perhaps I get a few hours every other day or so, where I feel mostly awake.
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I am lacking an appropriate word to use in your case, and besides I don't want to be judging or analyzing you at all. I'd rather we just talk about facts.