I like being proven right
This, right here, is the very core of your problem.
Being right all the time just reaffirms bias. Eventually you start looking for it even when it isn't there. Personally, I like to be proven wrong. That's my end goal in any discussion, because being wrong about something is an opportunity to learn and grow and do better next time, instead of repeating the same old tired mistakes.
You will never be more than you are as long as you cling to the need and desire to be Right all the time.
No.
The very core of my problem, is that I have been trying to do something that I am not 'meant' to be doing.
Every organism, every person, is born with a certain blueprint that the organism is designed to follow. If the person/organism follows the blueprint, they will generally be rewarded in life and if they go against that blueprint, then fortune will also go against them.
If some guy whose blueprint in life is to settle down with some woman and have a family, but whose social circumstances push him towards trying to be a 10 women a week Lothario type, then he is going to fail spectacularly, no matter how good looking he is, or how 'charming he can be or how much he knows how to manipulate the female psychology. Likewise, if some guys blueprint is to be a womanising Casanova, yet social circumstances dictate that he should settle down with just one woman, start a family, attend church every Sunday, then same thing. Good fortune will go against him and he will suffer so long as he continues to betray his blueprint.
My infatuation with trading, was an addiction, and thus detrimental to my overall character and an impediment towards me growing into what my blueprint states that I should be.
With that said, I don't think it harms much to have a handle on how markets work and it is certainly reassuring to me when predictions based on intuition come to fruition. My Bitcoin @ $1500 call wasn't based on graphs or charts, but based on intuition, whilst Bitcoin was still at $560 back in Sept 2016. Not that I haven't repeated this often enough in this thread, but the insight came to me on a very strong Mescaline hit. Same Mescaline hit where I realised that gold was the ultimate representation of wealth in the physical world which we inhabit. Always was and always will be, regardless of what the temporary smoke n mirrors of price action may attempt to depict, and any temporary mis-evaluation that may occur as a result of it.
Gold will stand the test of time. Bitcoin will be revealed as the vapour that it is and probably sooner rather than later, and everyone will wake up scratching their heads wondering whatever the fuck had gotten into them to have gotten so 'reingelegt' to begin with.