I do have thoughts but I always felt like this everyday. Every time I ask someone for help nobody cares. I don't know what to do, I can only rely on drugs. It sucks, but it helps. That's why I need this loan. Its important to me.
You have the attitude of a rapist.
You've been told NO a dozen times. Yet you keep coming back begging and trying to justify it. Obviously viewpoints that don't meet yours mean nothing to you.
Comparing me to a rapist? A bit far but I am quite stubborn, I get the same advice over and over. Go outside, therapy, suicide hot lines (hear that they call the police on you, no help) I mean it just doesn't help. I am not trying to beg, I am just trying to say that none of your advice help me what so ever. Not to sound rude or anything, just being honest here.
Approach with a positive attitude, stop thinking about drugs and suicide, if you keep saying you are suicidal, they have to call the police, for security reasons. I am also honest here. If you keep being so negative and evasive and self denying, you will end up hard core drug addict and be locked in for a long long time. You are still young, change when you still can.