I don't think polls are the way to go and are incredibly biased. People should be made staff on the willingness to report accurately and there are probably several good candidates who have thousands of reports between them.
Since, you're a global mod, you should be knowing on who reports a lot, and based on the highest number of reports by users, a poll can be run, on who fits the best in the category? Also, is there a way to make polls available only for Members/Full members and above? So that the abuse could be more or less be avoided.
I only have a general idea of who is reporting a lot and no definitive stats or figures and that's mostly what we should be going off, but I have recommend people before based on them being prolific in reporting. I had no idea Welsh had anywhere near that amount of reports though, but if staff are having to spend all day handling your reports then it would make sense for you to be on staff.
Theymos can create polls limited to certain member ranks, but regular users can't as far as I'm aware.
But despite not being active on those boards you're still finding the shitposters that you list in your threads so giving you the delete button or the banhammer would make sense. Perhaps the patroller thing or whatever it is that would let you nuke newbies.
I'm not sure what "patroller" stands for nowadays. As far as I know, any Staff is patroller, and only Mod on their own subforum. But I'm not sure.
Patrollers are just like 'baby' mods who can only handle reports on newbies (and nuke them if appropriate). Not all staff are also patrollers but most are I think.