I feel your longing for vagiety. That's what most healthy males are after, admit it or not. It's biology, you know. The chromothingies or something. You sound like you're golden anyway, with children and all. If I feel like marrying one day, I'll come to you for advice about a suitable mail order agency.

And you could try some beer training after all, even if at first it fails to be ice cold. A little patience goes a long way. I very much liked the nonverbal cues bit too, and the work uniform - apron wins over plastic wrap for me, but whatever rocks your boat.